A Stressful Job
It’s an understatement that being a caregiver for an elderly loved one is stressful. And in general, by the time you accept that you are in the role of “primary caregiver”, the need to help your elderly parent is already advanced. So you usually have some “catch up work” to do so you can establish some controls over your aging parent’s medical situation, finances and lifestyle.
To make the stress of the task more acute, in many cases neither the caregiver or the one being cared for like the job or volunteered for it. The senior citizen receiving the help is often hostile, resistant to the necessary changes that the caregiver must implement and sometimes downright disagreeable. Because this is probably your mom or dad you are taking care of, there are those trained reactions you have to them that when they say what goes, that’s what goes. But now you are the caregiver and they are in the role of the one who must obey. That reversal of roles is hard for both parent and child to get used to.
The stresses come from the elderly senior citizen, from expectations of other siblings and even from your own high set of standards. You may have the attitude that “nothing but the best is good enough for my mommy or daddy”. And while that sounds good in a toast, being a caregiver is all about compromise. They may deserve your attention 24/7 but realistically if you can drop by an hour a day and then spend the rest of your day taking care of your job, your kids, your spouse, your housework and, oh yes, yourself, that is probably a reasonable expectation.
So right up front, it’s good to recognize that as you settle into the job of primary caregiver for an aging parent, there is going to be an increase in stress in your life. Stress has been identified as one of the big causes of physical and mental health problems for adults. Some stress in life is expected and is good for us. But when stress begins to overwhelm you, you can go through a decline of your own health that is not good for you, the one you are caring for or anyone in your family either.
For family of the caregiver, you have some care giving to do yourselves. That one person is on the forward line of a struggle that really the whole family should be involved with. If you live far from your parent and your brother or sister is doing the careering, be aware of the stress they are under and be supportive. You can do all you can to help out to take some of the stress off. Perhaps you can coordinate with the other distant siblings and relatives to call your parent regularly and take some of the relationship pressure off of the caregiver sibling.
Above all, if you have suggestions for the caregiver, give them in love and without “nagging”. That sibling is painfully aware that she is carrying the load for the whole family so communicate your support and gratefulness and that your suggestions are meant only for mom or dads good, not to criticize the hard work your sibling is doing.
But the one person that can do the most to deal with the stress of being a caregiver is you, the caregiver. You have to see taking care of yourself as much a part of the job of taking care of your parent as any of the other duties you do. You are a huge resource to your mom or dad so tackle care of that resource for their sake. If you do, not only will you be a better caregiver, you will live happier and continue taking good care of your family and other responsibilities as well. And that’s a healthy approach to care giving and the only approach that will work if the job goes on for a long time.
PPPPP 670
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Quality of Life for your Senior Citizen When you were growing up, your parents were your care givers. They made ...
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Caring for the Caregiver The relationship between an elderly person and his or her caregiver is complex and intense sometimes. ...
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When the End is near Providing care for your adult parent during their retirement years can be a demanding job. ...
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Senior Citizens Bill of Rights Sometimes when you and your elderly parent are partnering for their care, it seems like ...
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Disclaimer
The Publisher has strived to be as accurate and complete as possible in the creation of this website, notwithstanding the fact that he does not warrant or represent at any time that the contents within are accurate due to the rapidly changing nature of the Internet.
This site is a common sense guide to A Stressful Job. In practical advice websites, like anything else in life, there are no guarantees of income made. Readers are cautioned to reply on their own judgment about their individual circumstances to act accordingly.
This site is not intended for use as a source of legal, business, accounting or financial advice. All readers are advised to seek services of competent professionals in legal, business, accounting, and finance field.
Any perceived slights of specific people or organizations are unintentional.
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The Caregiver’s Emotions
When the End is near
The Caregiver’s Greatest Enemy
Where Should Grandma Live?
That Thing We Don’t Talk About
That Thing We Don’t Talk About
When is it Time to Step in?
Making a Difference Together
Caring for the Caregiver
Caregivers and the Work Place
Caregivers and the Work Place
When is it Time to Step in?
A Stressful Job
Senior Citizens Bill of Rights
Quality of Life for your Senior Citizen
Easing into Care Giving
Taking Care of Yourself is Part of the Job
Does Grandpa Like Himself?
Managing Your Senior Citizen’s Medications
Giving Thanks for Being a Caregiver
Where Should Grandma Live?
Easing into Care Giving
Making a Difference Together
Quality of Life for your Senior Citizen
Is Mom a Sucker?
Keeping it at Arm’s Length
Listening to Your Parents even Now
The Greatest Loss of Them All
Taking Care of Yourself is Part of the Job
The Greatest Loss of Them All
Is Mom a Sucker?
Listening to Your Parents even Now
Does Grandpa Like Himself?
Giving Thanks for Being a Caregiver
A Place to Go
Going to a Better Place
Caring for the Caregiver
When the End is near
A Place to Go
We Are the Sandwich Generation
We Are the Sandwich Generation
Keeping it at Arm’s Length
Managing Your Senior Citizen’s Medications
Guilt Helps Nobody
The Caregiver’s Greatest Enemy
Guilt Helps Nobody
A Stressful Job
Senior Citizens Bill of Rights
Going to a Better Place
The Caregiver’s Emotions
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